Sunday, April 29, 2012

parable of the high dive.

lately i've had all sorts of feelings about life.
seeing so many sad and awful things around me.
realizing that life is hard.
my little perspective could not make sense of it all.
maybe some uncertainty and hestitation as i wondered why.

last night as i thought about it an experience came to my mind.
i was 9 years old again at the pool with my friends and family.
my fear of heights meant going off the high dive was never an option.
i was terrified.
one day i was offered an incentive.
"was it worth it?" i wondered.
i walked up the steps and out to the edge.
and i stopped.
i looked down and changed my mind.
"no money or reward in the world would ever make this worth it." i thought.
but there were so many down below cheering me on.
they knew i could do it and that i'd be okay. 
they had all done this before me, showing the way.
but still, i looked at how far i had to go and i doubted.
it seemed impossible.
after many minutes of me just waiting, my friend's mom walked up to the top and stood behind me.
she told me she was going to help me.  but that i had to do it.  there was no turning back now.
my heart pounded, i was almost in tears.
the fear far outweighed my faith.
she started to count down.  "three... two..." and i jumped.
when i resurfaced i looked back up to the place i had just come from.
i was proud. i was stronger. i was reassured.
all of a sudden, i trusted.

sometimes i feel this way about life. 
looking at how far i still have to go can sometimes be overwhelming.
but i have incentive. the greatest incentive in the world.
i have those cheering me on, setting the example.
i have support and encouragement. 
i have a Savior who is right there with me every step of the way.
and i can become the person i want to be.
there will be times before me that will seem impossible.
but we've been sent here to succeed. to learn and to grow.
and when i think of all these things, i have faith and trust and am reassured.


kylee said...

not letting the fear outweigh the faith. holy cow ashley. this was exactly what i needed today. EXACTLY. you tend to say the right things at just the right moment. thank you.

jilly said...

are you sure that you are my daughter....i don't deserve you...
you are amazing!!!!