it's walter.

i adore my family.
honest to goodness.

i've listed lots of reasons but i have more to add.
[walter cousin version.]
567: cousin nick and i have "therapy sessions."
we just sit and talk for hours, just let it all out.
and you know they care, they have to cause their family.
8,894: when my cousins all go to disneyland we do this thing called "the walter clap."
one person starts it. one. slow. clap. at. a. time.
and everyone related to us on the ride joins in.
[we usually have half the seats on any given ride.
it's coolest on space mountain and pirates.]
we clap, and clap, and clap.
and it starts to get faster and faster until we all start to cheer.
the other people just laugh at us, or stare, or sometimes even join in.
313: we're competitive.
we almost get kicked out of the water park at lagoon every year at walter family lagoon day.
[it's due to overly competitiveness when racing down the water slides.]
we also have almost been kicked out of boondocks on the go-carts.
and we have a march madness pool with cash prizes.
[when uncle brent wins he makes a poster letting everyone know.]
5,572: our sarcasm is often undetectable.
989: you laugh and cringe when someone brings up Easter 2009.
410:  the calendar we get each year is almost as big as the white elephant game.
our number one rule: there's no crying allowed.