today i have come to a conclusion.
i love people, not tests.
i found myself sitting on campus trying my hardest to study and next thing i knew i was watching everybody as they walked by.
then i got to thinking about how i just want to be finished with school and working in classrooms.
and then i got worried because i realized that if i don't start doing better in these classes it poses a potential problem.
but then i stopped worrying because i thought about how it's more important to care about people.
and once again my conscience kicked in and said that i need to care about school.
which i do.
i really do enjoy learning.
i just hate ridiculous things, like insane finals, and bad grades.
which led me to my ideas for teaching.
so i get even further into this thought process by deciding how lame standardized testing is because i really do know things, and have learned a lot in my classes.
and i get even more upset by thinking about professors that don't even seem to care.
especially because that's the whole point of teaching.
to help others learn and grow.
and then i think about how i would've taught the class.
and how i think grades should be done.
and what my grade actually should be.
then, i look back down at my notes and think,
'man, this isn't changing anything. i guess it's back to studying...'